slowpoke_gif | come on and take a test drive (test drive)!

[By very, very technical terms she is also an alien, so at least that is still a constant.]

Oh, you're John! That's sensational, Dave and Jade have talked about you a LOT!

[Mostly that he's Jade's nerdy brother who likes jokes and awful movies, but shh.]

Yes! We've been traveling together, Dave and I arrived here on the same day, and Jade showed up not long after. And Karkat a few months after that, but... I'm not sure if he counts as a friend or not? He's a little confusing.

It was a lot of fun, seeing all the different places and getting to meet so many people! If things are like that here, then I think I'll be okay.

[She nods, bending down and picking up Midori.]

Wow. I think I get that, though. Someone important to me said that we all have a little light inside, even if we might not look like it.

[...and then it hits.]

- can we at least call? I need to tell Mama not to worry, and the girls at Starlight are probably starting to wonder where I am...

What do you mean "except with bad hair and glasses", man? You also have bad hair and glasses!

[John huffs. The nerve!]

Anyways, I guess that I probably did? I didn't actually get go back to see what happened. So who knows? Like I said, I never ruled out the possibility that it was all just Terezi trolling me.

Oh man, they talked about me? What did they say? I mean, if Dave said it, it was probably totally wrong and meant to slander my good name, but I still want to know.

[Either way, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy that his friends have been talking about him.]

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about Karkat. If he yells at you a lot, he probably likes you. He's an alien. It's just his culture.

Your face has--wait. Terezi gave you dating advice? To give back to her, I mean. To Past Terezi, who I assume was from three years ago, given that you had the opportunity to punch Vriska in the face. I'm assuming the face, it's artistic embellishment.

[UmmmmMMMMMMMM I mean, not like he's interested, or anything, because who gives a shit, but also, like. You know. It wouldn't be awful to have a little more information about. The first part of this topic.]

What...advice. Did you give her.

That you were a great friend who liked pranks and movies a lot, and who they've really missed!

[This assessment brought to you by a relentlessly optimistic mental filter.]

You think so? I know a little bit about troll culture. It sounds like it was really-

[Violent. Cruel. Ridiculously militaristic.]

...very, very different.

That's a fantastic way of putting it!

[And then the badness starts. At least she's not actually panicking yet? ~~Please do not cry.~~]

There's no way to contact your home, I'm so sorry. But while you're here, time stops back home! It's confusing, but if you leave you'll end up right back where and when you were. No one will even know you were gone!

Yeah, it was totally her face! Punching somebody in the arm just isn't as effective, you know?

[Oh, crap. The dating advice. Yeah, about that Dave...]

Well... All she told me to tell her was "you don't need him."

[A pause. A very guilty pause.]

But I.... might have told her to not date you? Look, a lot of things happened, and I can't be responsible for anything that I may or may not have written on the back of a Nic Cage movie poster.

Yeah! I mean, I'm pretty sure that me and him are bros, but that doesn't stop him from yelling at me whenever he sees me. But it's like... he yells because he cares, you know?

[It could also be because you're appearing out of thin air for no reason whatsoever. But John's going for friendship yells.]

Try pushing him down a flight of friendships stairs sometime! I think that's probably like the same thing as a hug to trolls.

I'll have to remember that!

[John, please, she is taking you seriously.]

I don't think he could survive that as a human, though... but maybe he'd appreciate the thought?

As a human?

[Hold up a second....]

Wait, is Karkat not a troll anymore? What happened?

Oh, right! Whatever brings people here also turns everyone human, if they weren't before.

[You know, no big deal.]

A lot of people get VERY upset about it.

I've learned a lot from Hoshimiya-senpai.

[No tears from her! Just a nod.]

Well, that just means I'll have to do my best here, too. I don't quite get how time works like that, but it'll be okay, I'm sure of that.

That's because you suck at skating on it.

[Sigrun, you live where ice and snow is the norm. Not everyone has. Yang's strong though, nice.]

I don't see why you'd want to go back outside anyway though. It's way too warm.

...Huh.

[A timeline where he didn't date Terezi. A timeline where maybe they're still friends and it's not all awkward. That could be good?]

Meh, actually, that might be kind of a good call. I mean, you're still getting like a year's worth of vicious noogie-ing, but that's practically unrelated, it's just your accumulated bro debt at this point. And that's with your timeline hero discount already applied. You know I'm not cheap.

[He crosses his arms again, because he can tell he's gonna have some kind of gross emotion--about the timeline, about there being some hope for them after all. About John.]

So when should I pick you up?

Oh man, so does that mean he's lost his horns and stuff too? I bet he was pretty pissed about that. I mean, I think he gets pissed about everything but...

[A pause, to consider what she just said in sliiightly more detail.]

Wait, does that mean that there are more aliens around than just Karkat? How many people ended up here?

If I'm in for a year of noogies then you're in for like... at least two years of noogies, man. Probably more! There are also the actions of bird Dave to take into account and all.

[He will not be out-noogied. No siree.

Wait, what was that last part?]

Pick me up? What are you talking about?

No, I am not either--you can't access the Elite Four to beat them up and take their lunch money, so...? No one can ever truly be Pokemon masters, I guess.

As for Apus over there, she is just the evolved form of your Swablu--an Altaria. She was the first egg I hatched when I came here.

[Yes, Pokemon come from eggs and it goes without saying that she could whoop Dave and Karkat in battle.]

We can't fly on our own anymore, John, it sucks. But flying on Apus has been nice!

No one told me there would be THIS much ice! Or I would've gotten some real skates...

[ Yang righted herself eventually, leaning on the rock until she could feel some semblance of steadiness return to her. ]

Uh, I'm pretty sure it's warmer in here though? I mean, at least there's no wind. [ She has her own heavy trainer jacket and actually was wearing equally thick pants over her typical shorts and stockings, so only her face was exposed at all. ]

Ugh, I noticed that. As soon as I got here, I tried to fly up to get a lay of the land, but it didn't work at all! Now I have to walk around on two feet like a total chump again.

[And it's not exactly like his little blue friend is big enough to hop on top of. Maybe one day.]

It looks like your cloud bird is pretty comfortable, though. It has built in cushions and everything.

A)

[If you happen to be in Goldenrod's Department Store today, you might hear the sound of a trainer talking to...himself? Not out of the realm of possibility, no, but the voice is actually coming from beyond the dressing rooms to a Bagon, Squirtle, and Eevee sitting on a bench waiting patiently for their trainer to come out.]

Alright, my beauties. Are you ready? Three, two, one-!

[The curtain covering the room's entrance practically explodes open as a man jumps out and strikes the most exaggerated pose known to man, a Krookodile leaping out behind him only to put up a mirroring post next to his trainer. Clearly, this is something they've rehearsed.

And the man is wearing...well.]

It's beautiful, non?~ Tell us honestly, Bruce and I want to hear your opinions!

[There's a long silence in which Karamatsu just stands there next to his Krookodile, holding that pose like their lives depend on it.

The Eevee yips softly, tail wagging. The Squirtle looks more frustrated that he didn't get to play along, and the Bagon has a look on her face that says that she would rather be literally anywhere else.]

B)

[Karamatsu's out fishing today, lounging on the back of a Seadra with her crests serving as a makeshift seat for him. One leg that's crossed over the other bounces idly as he stares into the water, occasionally pulling in his line and tossing it back out again.]

Hah...nothing again, huh?

[He drops his head back against the Seadra's neck, who's nearly fallen asleep herself by now, blowing bubbles in the water through her snout.

Then, without warning, something starts tugging just a little on the line, prompting them both to look up.]

Eh?

[The little tugs happen once, twice, then stop again, causing Karamatsu to deflate a little...at least until a very sharp yank suddenly pulls on the pole so hard that he's jerked right off the Seadra and headfirst into the river.]

AAGGHKK--!!

Edited 2016-03-17 00:32 (UTC)

[Eventually the silence is interrupted by something other than his Pokemon, because there's a small slow clap coming from one of the other shoppers. Looks like someone heard all that nonsense, and it's just...some guy and his fat snake, idly watching.

What does the peanut gallery have to say?]

It's very adequate, zura.

[Thank you, peanut gallery.]

Ah! So you do think so?

[Karamatsu wheels around at the sound of Komasan's voice, seemingly completely unbothered by having his outfit called simply "adequate". Meanwhile, the Krookodile peers down his long snout at Komasan, his lip curling slightly to reveal a few crooked fangs. That's...probably a smile?]

Of course it is! I only chose the very best to match! Soon, all of my partners and I will be fashionable together.

[Of course he thinks so, it's definitely enough clothing someone should be wearing. He went above and beyond in the search for things to not make him naked anymore, and he did an okay job! Good for you...um...Some Guy, you did the thing.]

Monge~! Me too! Today's headband day, zura!

[Komasan begins to dig into one of his shopping bags as Noko watches Some Guy's Krookodile carefully. That is definitely a thing that could eat them, it sure is. But before she can speak up, Komasan is plopping a flower headband on her head. She blushes in surprise, giving an adorable tiny gasp despite the fact that Komasan implied that "headband day" is probably something they do quite often. She just seems genuinely touched every time she receives a present.]

[...oh. Oh. That is quite possibly one of the cutest things Karamatsu has seen. Well, not cuter than his Pokemon- obviously- but it's still very close!

He steps away from Bruce, causing the Krookodile to look over in surprise when their matching pose stances are abruptly broken. He crouches down to one knee in front of Noko, pulling his sunglasses down slightly so he can look at her over the tops of them.]

Headband day, eh? You seem to be quite the fashionista yourself!

[Is he talking to Komasan, or Noko? ...or both? Who can say.]

I had no idea such a day existed...and here I am, missing out on it entirely!

come on and take a test drive (test drive)!

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Karamatsu Matsuno | Osomatsu-san

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