Yeah, it was totally her face! Punching somebody in the arm just isn't as effective, you know?

[Oh, crap. The dating advice. Yeah, about that Dave...]

Well... All she told me to tell her was "you don't need him."

[A pause. A very guilty pause.]

But I.... might have told her to not date you? Look, a lot of things happened, and I can't be responsible for anything that I may or may not have written on the back of a Nic Cage movie poster.