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_{[You know, it is SUPREMELY weird being barefoot.]

[Woody has literally never been barefoot before.]

[His boots aren't supposed to come OFF.]

[To anyone around, there's a lanky fellow in cow-spotted chaps, old faded jeans, and a yellow flannel shirt, standing there with his hands on his hips and glaring at what's in front of him: a very happy Ekans, coiled in a tight little curl.]

[There is a boot sitting on its head.]}

Oh, ha. Hah. Hah.

_{[He'd tell it to hand it over, but it doesn't have hands. >8(]}

[Well, good to know that he's not the only boy from the south here. Engie tips his hardhat off at the cowboy.]

Howdy sir. Havin' some trouble with that snake over there?

_{[You know, it would be weird being spoken to by a fully-grown HUMAN, but-- ... well, to be honest, Engie almost looks like an action figure. That makes it slightly less weird.]

[... Slightly.]

[All the same, Woody is clearly not a happy camper as he turns to the engineer.]}

Trouble?

NOPE. No trouble here, just a giant purple snake that apparently likes boots.

MY boots.

_{[>8( STUPID SNAKE, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FEET.]}

[Engie takes a look at the Ekans and chuckles. It looks pretty cute curled up like that with the boot on its head.]

It sure does, the lil' rascal.

[Engie bends down and carefully approaches the snake; don't want to get bitten after all.]

C'mon, hand it over. It don't belong to you now, does it? Ain't right to hold on to something that ain't yours.

Edited 2013-09-07 03:06 (UTC)

_{[Ever seen a snake do puppy eyes?]

[Because this snake sure is doing it right now.]

[It even manages the quivering lip. Don't ask how, since traditionally snakes don't even have lips.]

[Behind Engie, the lanky cowboy makes a frustrated noise and throws his hands up in the air.]}

Well, great. NOW what are we supposed to do.

_{[HE CAN'T ARGUE WITH THOSE EYES, DANGIT.]}

Well I'll be. He's more puppy than a snake, I reckon!

[Ekans used PUPPY DOG EYES.

It's SUPER EFFECTIVE.

Aka Engie's in agreement with Woody; they're going to need to find another plan.]

Maybe we could find'im an old boot. Not outta the trash if he's gonna be wearin' it, but there's gotta be a place where we can find some clothes for cheap here.

Or maybe it just wants a hat.

[And good lord, does Engie know a lot about hats. TF2 is practically a hat economy.]

_{[They have that in common-- Woody wouldn't go anywhere without his trusty cowboy hat. All things considered, he should probably be grateful that the Ekans wanted the boot and not the hat. Even if going hatless through the wilderness is more practical than bootless...]}

That'd be fine if there were any boots around. This town's more barren than a mom-cleaned room and the doors are all locked.

[Well, give Engie a minute to check out his backpack and see what 'Mom' gave him that could be offered to the snake as a suitable substitute.]

I think...I might have somethin' in here...found it!

[He pulls out a spare flannel and waves it in front of the snake.]

How 'bout we swap? Bandanna for a boot? S'one sweet deal.

_{[Peering over the engineer's shoulder, at first Woody scoffs and rolls his eyes.]}

A bandanna? What would a snake do with a banda--

_{[But the Ekans is already investigating the bandanna with a few flicks of its dark tongue. And then it makes an unmistakably happy face.]}

... Well whaddya know.

[Did somebody order a small child?

Who you're...actually taller that. Well this is a reversal.]

...Is it yours, or do you need help?

_{[HELLO SMALL CHILD. Wow. He's not used to kids actually being SMALLER than him. Which is why, at first, he looks UP at the sound of Shaun's voice. It's not until a few baffled seconds have passed that it occurs to him to actually look down.]

[And when he does, he sort of jumps away a little bit. Because YIKES YOU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.]}

--Uhhh... WELL...

The BOOT is mine...

[He is made of stealth.

...Not really, but he just assumes you were distracted.]

I guessed that. I meant is that your pokemon?

[And then something clicks and his eyes widen a little.]

Wait, are you Sheriff Woody?

_{[Pokemon? That's what that is? One of the things from those games that Andy spent about two years obsessed with and then fell back into science fiction?]

[He'd be a little more indignant about that, but he's distracted by the fact that the kid knows his name. Demeanor changing instantly, he turns to face Shaun, straightening his hat.]}

Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I am!

[If Shaun were more inclined to dramatic displays, he would swoon.

As it stands, an expression of elation lights up his 11-year-old face in the biggest smile he can give.]

Wow! You're really him! That's the coolest thing!

_{[Okay, he can't help it. His chest swells with pride-- this kid's surprisingly young to know about Woody's Roundup, considering that thing aired in the fifties, but hey, who is Woody to complain? Maybe he was like Andy and had some of the toys passed down through the family.]}

In all my rootin', tootin' glory.

_{[He bends down a little, arm on knee, to face Shaun better.]}

How about you? What's your name, partner?

[Shaun's never met someone fictional before (well, someone he knows is fictional) but GOLLY he'd know his childhood anywhere.

He's got that 'kid at Disney World' look on his face when Woody crouches down to his level.]

I'm Shaun! It's nice to meet you, um, partner!

_{[It's so strange getting to TALK to a kid like this. The last time he literally talked to a child was when he'd broken the rules and spoken to Sid. ... And that had, understandably, ended in lots of screaming and running. Which he would be lying if he tried to say hadn't been INCREDIBLY satisfying.]

[But this? This is neat in a whole new way. He's not technically breaking the rules if he's not a toy anymore, is he? Going ragdoll and flopping limply to the ground every time someone walks past is a whole lot more noticeable when you're a fully-grown flesh-and-blood adult man than when you're a little doll made of cotton and plastic.]}

Well howdy, Shaun!

You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

If you know who I am, I probably don't have to say the line, but... mind telling me why this snake is so interested in my boot?

...No way.

_{[Oh good lord, it's another kid. He can't exactly just fall limply to the ground every time one walks by... that would look pretty weird.]

[So instead he opts for an exasperated-sounding:]}

Yes way.

_{[He can't believe it either. :I]}

Well, hey, we're in a video game, why not living toys?

[[She honestly had no idea what to think about the sight in front of her. She's trying very, very hard not to laugh though. And after finally get that under control, Rose approaches.]]

I see you're having a bit of a snake problem, sheriff.

_{[DON'T LAUGH. DON'T DO IT!]

[He spins on his heel, by this point not QUITE as startled at the sudden appearance of children, which is apparently normal for this place.]}

A bit?

Yeah, we'll go with that.

Is this thing poisonous?

_{[Because he wants his boot back but now that his hands are no longer made of plastic...]}

_{[Jack senses a bit of tension between this trainer and his (Jack assumes) pokemon as he passes by. He wonders if the man is new.]

[Jack keeps a straight face but the Murkrow perching on his shoulder bursts out into harsh, cawing laughter at the scene. The old man reaches up a hand to clamp her beak shut.]}

Is everything alright?

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Sheriff Woody | Toy Story

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do you mind getting 4th walled, or shall I refrain?

FOURTHWALLING IS FINE, Woody will assume he saw the TV show and not think much of it.

o7

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SINCE YOU DON'T MIND FOURTH WALLS

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