slowpoke_gif | as ATP is this weekend!

[And there's a nod at that.

So they were working together but didn't get along? I guess that'd mean that it was similar to how he didn't get along with Gran, even though they were both in the military..

Which means...

..Maybe it's worth a shot?]

So, if all of that was just job politics, maybe we should actually introduce ourselves?

[Sure, he knows who Lust is from Ed's account of things inside that laboratory, but.]

I'm Maes. Maes Hughes.

Pleased to meet you.

[Thank god he seems reasonable. Lust lowers her hands and her posture relaxes some.]

Job politics. [She makes a small noise of amusement.] Something like that. It was certainly nothing personal. Just following ill-given orders, you're a soldier, you can understand.

I'm Lust.

[He certainly did understand. Even though he was primarily Intelligence, he was Roy's best friend, and he'd SEEN the fallout of some of the unfortunate orders the Flame Alchemist had to act out.

This was probably yet another one of those cases. It still meant that things were a little awkward, but hey, at least his usual friendly act might help to bridge the gap here.]

Lust! Nice to meet you.

It's kind of a tragic name though, don't you think? A young lady like yourself deserves a nicer name than that. Ever think about changing it?

There's a moment of blinking thoughtfully, though, remembering something in Ed's account of the incident.]

...Wait, if you're perfectly human now, does that mean that you got your wish?

Do you always pelt practical strangers with personal questions when you first meet?

[Defensive, mostly due to her own frustration at having to answer questions like that more often than she'd like. Which may be clear, as she launches into a rote of her usual responses with a weary sigh.]

My name is Lust, it's the name I've always had, I knew it as my name before I knew it meant anything else so I happen to like it and find it perfectly 'nice'. This place makes anyone human, all that's changed is my biology, my personal hopes and dreams are none of your business. And to round it all off to get it all out of the way, I've been human months and I'm perfectly adjusted to it.

[Physically speaking, anyway. And everyone asked that, too, so she may as well answer it now.]

[Wow, that was cold but totally understandable given how little good interaction the two of them have had up until this point.

COMPLETELY UNFAZED by her defensiveness, Maes continues to be a complete fluffball.]

You're right, I should probably tell you more about myself to level the playing field!

[And with that, there is rooting in his pockets until he digs out a wallet-sized booklet, that he readily opens to reveal is a pocket-album with an accordion-folding plastic pocket sheet, full of pictures of his family and his baby girl.]

This is my baby girl Elicia, isn't she adorable? This was taken the night she was born! She actually shared Ed's birthday, can you believe it? She's the most precious little thing and she totally takes after her mother so very much already!

And this here is our first family photo! That's Gracia, my wife, and Elicia's about six months old here in this one. ISN'T SHE PRECIOUS?

AND THIS ONE! THIS WAS WHEN SHE FIRST STARTED TO LEARN HOW TO RIDE HER TRICYCLE!

[Yup. Loving husband and father mode is go. Have fun, Lust.]

[Oh dear god.]

That's really alright, I....

[Too late. Yes, it was an infant human. Why Lust would want to see pictures of his child, she has no idea. Alright, fine. Maybe this was some common greeting ritual among his people, what the hell does she know. She reaches into her pocket and roots around until she finds a photograph. It shows a Jigglypuff on a strip of seashore, staring intently off camera.]

This is my Jigglypuff Chanteuse at the beach. She's staring at a man who's frightened of everything. I don't have any other pictures with me.

Are you in need of some sort of assistance?

[He blinks, a little surprised at the sharing of photos from someone else - that's not something that happens very often at all!]

Awww! She's cute! She looks so soft and--

[At that question, Hughes looks genuinely dumbfounded and slightly worried.]

..You mean you're not used to casual conversation?

Yes, yes, don't tell her that, she has enough of an ego complex as is.

[Lust just shrugs.]

You are wandering around the woods alone, and you seem to be under the impression you and I are old friends. It's not unreasonable to assume you're suffering some manner of head trauma or exposure delirium. I have a campsite if you require food or water.

But, if neither of us has that whole politics thing getting in the way, and none of what had happened before was personal..

..There's no reason we can't be friends now, right?

[He smiles, casually pointing upward with his finger as though he'd just thought of something.

He casually shrugs.]

I know that there's not a whole lot I could offer you just yet ~~(unless you're interested in more stories about Elicia and seeing more pictures of her!)~~ but you seem to know this place better than I do.

...Maybe we could help each other out?

[Hey, if the excessively friendly road's not going anywhere, the practical appeal might work?]

What is it about men and exuberant friendship? You're just like Kirikou and Alphonse.

[Just thrusting their friendship on her, regardless of her attempts to dissuade it. Kirikou only knew her here of course, and Alphonse was Alphonse. She can't understand why Maes Hughes is being so kind to her. She's used to grudges being held.]

I'm not a very good friend. But I probably know more about this world than you. I've already offered you food and water, do you want it or not?

[Lust's way of doing things would take some getting used to, but Maes is just fine with this!]

Really, outside of the job I'm pretty easy-going.

[Though that obfuscating stupidity act on the job is pretty easy-going too..]

And if there's no reason to fight here, why should we?

[He gives a shrug.

It's Lust's to-the-point comment about food and water that does cause him to perk up though.]

Yes! Please! That is, if you don't mind?

Mmmm. I have no real liking for violence or aggression.

[Anyone that easy going is likely to have an agenda, but Lust supposes it's not much different than Greed. He'd likely be anyone's friend as well.

Ugh, what's Greed going to think? She's not bringing back a stray Pokemon, she's bringing back a high ranking military intelligence officer who knows far too much about them.

She hopes her assessment of his likelhood of befriending everyone is right. And also that he's off hunting Pokemon right now.]

Yes, it's fine. It wouldn't be decent to just leave you here.

Wow, really?

For what it's worth, though, you do fight really well. I'm pretty sure I would've been toast if Envy didn't intervene.

[But that's definitely a topic change thing. And so, changing the topic is the most appropriate course of action here!]

...I really am thankful, though. It's really nice of you to offer.

..Is your camp far from here? Should I grab some wood or something on the way?

[Sure, he wouldn't be able to do much without an axe, but even branches and boughs can still be used as kindling..]

Due to my nature. Homunculi have exceptional strength, speed, and reflex. I can hardly do all of that now. I fought because I thought I had to, nothing more.

[She doesn't say anything Envy. There's only so much that can be forgiven in a short period of time.]

It's nothing. It's not far, we don't need wood. We're used to camping, we've been doing it for a month. There's plenty of Pokemon, your pikachu won't be wanting for company.

[He gives a nod, even though he does think that she's selling herself short.

The electric mouse makes a happy "Pika pika!" at the thought of having more pokemon to interact with.]

A month, huh? Sounds like you've managed to get pretty settled in, then.

[He gives one of his sweeping gestures at the forest surrounding them as he speaks.]

I wouldn't even know what's safe to eat around here.

[And that's followed with a shrug. Hey, it might be the incompetent moron act turned down a few notches, but at least he's not in mission-mode!]

Not the berries!

[Lust emphasizes this with a cut of her arm in front of her in a negative gesture. She turns and begins leading the way to camp.]

I've been here a few months. Apparently it isn't entirely uncommon for people from our world to die and end up here. But there seem to be hundreds of people from all different worlds who've just ended up here somehow. It may sound like madness, but it's all truth.

[Not the berries! Check!

Even though that emphatic statement totally sounds like Lust's personal experience talking, he's not going to ask.

..Even though he wants to.

He nods and quietly follows Lust's lead, listening to her explanation.]

Eh? So I'm not the only one who wound up finding this place instead of some kind of afterlife?

No. We actually have something in common, it turns out.

[Guttle rolls along at Lust's feet, circling her often.]

I can't speak for anyone else, of course, that's their business. But people end up in this place, and it's a very nice place. Things are...just generally nice overall. It's difficult to explain, you'll understand when you've been here awhile.

[Another nod, and continuing to listen and follow...and being mindful of the adorable rolling seal orbiting Lust.]

Well, without all of the politics back home, I can already see how it is nice. But, like anything else, I'd imagine getting to know this place better would mean being able to appreciate it more, too.

And really, might as well make the best of this, right?

[And there's actual sincerity in that statement. If this was a vacation spot, well, it only makes sense to enjoy it for all that it's worth, right?]

Calling it politics is too generous. Dabbling in the political climate was only one small portion of a very grand design orchestrated by one mad alchemist no one alive today has likely ever even heard of. But she decided that due to her cheating at life and gaining something near to immortality, she had the capacity to decide what was right and wrong for all people. But I think she was just justifying her own selfish desires.

[The campsite is empty save for Pokemon when they arrive - good. Lust has been hoping. The same Jigglypuff from the photo she'd shown is dancing for a bored looking Glameow by the remains of a banked fire. Lust really doesn't care what Maes knows at this point, he's dead and doesn't seem to hold much of a personal grudge over it. She feels he ought to know it was much more than some bit of political shadiness he'd ended up embroiled in.]

Making the best of it is what we all do. People are kind, no one cares about what you were in your old world...the weather gets funny sometimes, but so what? It only flung sharks everywhere the once.

Man, that's so far out of my depth that it's not even funny. But, it's like I told Roy - I might not understand alchemy or how it works, but I can tell when it's edging into "maybe you should reconsider that" territory.

..It kind of sounds like that alchemist crossed that threshold and kept on going. But, isn't there supposed to be some kind of backlash for some of that? Kind of like how attempts on human alchemy can actually kill or maim the alchemist who tried?

[There is so much 'wow this is so far above my paygrade'/'completely out of my depth' here, but it did seem worth asking with what little he did manage to pick up about alchemy over the years.

The Pikachu hopped down and excitedly scurried over to join the other pokemon, watching the Jigglypuff dance.

Maes visibly recoils at the mention of the weather thing, though.]

Flinging sharks? Isn't that..kind of dangerous?

[Dangerous or ridiculous, really, he's not entirely sure which. But, if they were able to function outside of the water just fine, and if they were large and hungry, dangerous would probably be more accurate.]

That's what the Philosopher's Stone is for. Avoiding the laws of alchemy.

[The Pikachu is welcomed into the small group of Lust's pokemon, though the Glameow gave it a disdainful glance. Lust set about building the fire back up to reheat the porridge from earlier.]

She didn't make it herself, but she controlled the world to the extent she could ensure one was made when she had need of it. At least until this time, it seems everything fell apart somewhere along the line. Elrics and all.

[As though just invoking the name of the brothers explains everything. But considering who she's talking to, she assumes it does.]

Only if you were outside. And foolish. Greed caught us a pair, we're buying a house for them. And us, but it has to have a pool for our sharks. The poor things have to stay cooped up on dry land.

[Well, the part about the Elrics throwing a wrench into her plans certainly did make sense - those two were incredibly gifted, and likely something that wasn't planned for.

Hughes nods again.]

Man, it's a little ridiculous how much was actually going on without our knowing. I mean, I was head of Investigations and a lot of this is news to me.

[He rubs the back of his neck. Sure, he became aware at the last of it that there was some kind of corruption or infiltration in the government, but to that extent? That was completely beyond his wildest imaginings.]

...They can survive out of the water?

Maes, you have no idea.

[She's not about to drop the bomb that the Fuhrer himself had been a homunculus. There was only so much the mind could handle at once, and she doesn't need a dazed Amestrian soldier on her hands.]

Yes and no. They can. And they can battle on land, but they live in water. Pokemon physiology is strange and refuses to adhere to the biological laws we know. It's easiest not to think too deeply on it. Do you take sweetener in your porridge?

[Not to mention that that would also open the door to all kinds of awkward questions like if the Fuhrer was actually Envy because he didn't seem to have any razor sharp teeth or anything, and Envy was a shapeshifter..]

Sounds like this place operates on completely different physics, huh?

[And for once, he's actually thankful that he's NOT an alchemist. Can you imagine having to re-learn all of the different principles of physics and biology to adjust to a new world where something like that might not even work?

The question about his porridge snapped him out of that train of thought entirely, however, as he perked up.]

Ah! Sweetener would be wonderful if you had it.

as ATP is this weekend!

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He's trying! He really is! Sob.

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