slowpoke_gif | come on and take a test drive (test drive)!

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test-drive meme

come on and take a test drive (test drive)!

TEST DRIVE MEME

➞ Post with a character you wish to test drive in this game's setting.
➞ Tag other people's starters and thread out shenanigans!
➞ Invite your friends! Try out new characters! Come play with us!
➞ Have fun!

NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN YOUR TEST-DRIVE JOURNEY?
CHECK OUT ALL THE LOCATIONS WE HAVE AVAILABLE IN:

JOHTO | and | KANTO

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OTHER USEFUL LINKS:
NAVIGATION | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

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[You know what, John, something in your pocket is blinking at you, because god forbid the universe allow you and your bestie-best meet in person, ever, for more than five seconds at a time.

Anyway, maybe it's fine that John not notice the PokéGear is recording him right away. Dave's face is not prepared.

It's him.

He's really here.

Dave might start to say something to get John's attention, but something beaky and black sticks her eye right up to the camera and CAWS. LOUDLY. NEW PHONE, WHO DIS???]

KRAWW!

A big-? Oh!

[Glancing back at said oversized spider, entirely unperturbed.]

That's just Amber. She was my starter! Like your little flowery friend there. Say hello, Amber!

[Amber crawls up beside Penny's feet, looking up at Akari and waving her front legs and chittering a bit. Could be "hello," could be "you wanna go?"]

[Hello John, if you like one bird cloud, you're really going to love the much bigger one flying overhead trilling some song. Despite that, Jade still hears the words "Sburb" and "Terezi" which causes a chain reaction of "hooooold on!" to her Altaria.

One mid-air stop and back up later has Jade jumping down to see for herself if this ranting teen is who she thinks he is.]

...Oh my god. [She'd recognize that wild ineffectual gesture of rage anywhere!] John! Joooohhhhnnn!

[John nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears something in his pocket screaming bloody murder at him. He screams back, and the bird on his head fluffs its clouds up until it's about twice its original size. He's the cloud king right now, it's him.]

What the heck? When did this turn on?

[He shakes it a little. It's not like he doesn't know how to use technology, but this is still new to him. Maybe shaking is how it works.]

Is somebody there? Terezi, is that you?

[Well, if she's not worried, then Akari will try not to be.]

Oh! Well, hello, Amber. I'm Akari, and this is --

[...name, name...]

-- Midori, say hello, okay?

[The little Petilil spins around.]

I'm sorry I made a big deal out of nothing.

[Oh thank god, it's a friendly face. At least, he thinks so? The last he heard from Jade, she was gray and dead, but she seems pretty undead and ungray here, so he's going to hope that things are cool between them.]

Jade? Geez, now I'm even more confused! What are you doing here? And where is here? And what are all of these weird blue cloud things?

[The bird was a distaction, and the moment she buys him is just enough for Dave to gather himself and shoo her out of the way, flapping his hand until she hops back out of his lap. There. Now he can gaze upon the dumb visage of his best friend.]

Excuse your face, John. Poe's dulcet stylings are way easier on the ears than anything Terezi's got to say.

Oh, fuck the exposition shit for a second--come here!

[AAAAaaAAA--she's attacking with the Older Twin Sister Hugs! Jade's definitely alive and definitely happy to see John, so it goes without saying things are more than cool with them.]

[Apus--her Altaria--simply waits for this moment to pass.]

I missed you so much, you goober.

Woah! Hi, Dave!

[John fiddles with the Pokegear a bit, trying to find the proper distance and angle to hold it out from him to make his face look the right size. For a moment, it just shows a very clear image of his own bird friend, who is poofed up with indignation. But finally, he seems to get it figured out.]

So I guess you're here too? Wherever "here" is, anyways. Did you also wake up with a weird bird who makes nests in your hair?

No, it's okay! Arriving here can be VERY confusing, you're actually handling it very well!

[At least for now. They haven't gotten to the "no way to get home" thing yet.]

So, welcome to Johto! Has anyone explained- anything, yet?

[Okay, John's a little taken aback by that hug, but he's definitely not so taken aback that he's not going to hug back. That'd just be rude! Besides, Older Twin Sister Hugs are a vast improvement over Evil Twin Sister Dog Tackles.]

It's nice to see you too Jade! Though wait- I saw you like two hours ago, what do you mean you-

[It hits him pretty quickly and he lets out a long groan over Jade's shoulder.]

Ughhh, is this more timeline bullshit again?

I'm used to traveling, so waking up somewhere I'm not used to isn't too bad. You see, I'm an idol, and with my friends Sumire and Hinaki, we had a tour not too long ago.

The lady who said she was my mom was kind of weird, though.

-- explained?

Nah, actually, I started with a little psychic dude that turned into ballerina and then some kind of combat telepath. The birds came later. The birds always come later.

[He shifts in his seat, arms folded across his chest.]

So, dude, like. Why were you looking for Terezi. I wasn't aware you guys talked that much.

[You know, besides the time Terezi made Davesprite's timeline happen.]

Yes, unfortunately the timeline bullshit is at it again.

[Right, John's had enough, she'll release him from the vice grip of familial love and take a step back.]

Let me guess, you are going to say that the last time you saw me I was evil and grey, right? That's what Dave and Karkat had to say, too. I am pleased to announce that I have been released from the fish-bitch's control and I'm fine now, no more grimbark bullshit from me. Oh--also? It's 2016 here, so we jumped forward in the future of Pokemons? Now there's a whole lot more and a whole lot of different stuff to learn.

Wow, those are some really rude gestures... Are you okay?

[Penny's not even sure what they actually mean, not that that says much.]

[But aome of those phrases are, at this point, familiar. Processing...]

Oh my gosh!

[And running over excitedly now.]

Are you one of Dave and Jade's friends?!

[...Okay, John's not even going to ask about the ballerina thing. He can't even tell if that's Dave-speak happening or if there was actually a little mind-reading guy that put on a tutu and then read minds while being Jackie Chan. Anything could happen here. As far as John knows, the possibilities are limitless.]

Terezi sent me on all of these bullshit quests to try and fix the timeline or something. So I had to unframe Vriska for a few murders and also give past-Terezi dating advice from future-Terezi, and I also had to honk a horn. Basically none of it made any sense, and I'm pretty sure it was all just a clever trolling technique, and now I'm here. It's probably part of her grand master prank schematic, but I haven't figured out how yet.

[How Terezi can get any joy out of this from beyond the grave is beyond John, but hey. Trolls are weird.]

Why are you here?

That is exactly what I was going to say! Anyways, I'm glad you aren't evil and gray anymore, but that still raises a lot of questions. Like why are we in the world of future Pokemons? How did we get here?

[Seriously. Out of one video game and into another? Or is this some dreambubble bullshit? He's getting a headache. Maybe it'd be best to focus on the easy fun stuff for now.]

Okay, so anyways, Dave and Karkat are here too? Are they also Pokemon masters?

The universe had enough of fucking with us and we got pulled into another video game? I don't know the exact circumstances, but nobody else does, so we are just concentrating on living Pokemon lives.

[Time and space is incredibly muddled.]

Pfft--no, I mean yes, they have Pokemon, but they are far from being masters. As it stands, Dave has only gotten a badge from the first gym and I am trying to convince him to train in double battling with me.

[This is going to take a moment to process. A red head girl is standing in front of him, but apparently she knows two of his friends? Yet he doesn't know her. Given that his social circle has only ever really been three people and then some aliens, this is a little confusing.

But on the bright side: she knows his friends, which means she can't be all that bad, and it also means they're here!]

Yeah, Dave and Jade are my friends! Do you know them? I'm John, by the way.

Well--

[Wait. Wait. What did John just say? The hell, did any of that make sense, is he losing his goddamn mind?]

Fix the. What. Since when could you do that? When did--what the fuck, when are you even from, dude?

[TELL HIM ABOUT HOMESTUCK.]

Well I guess Pokemon lives beat a lot of other kind of lives. At least you get cute animal companions.

[Sburb came with those too, granted. But Sburb also came with a lot more death and aberrations of time and space. Pokemon is probably the better bet.]

Are you a Pokemon master then, Jade? Your bird is bigger than mine. I would definitely believe that you could whoop Dave and Karkat's asses in a Pokemon battle anyways.

[That's probably a "no, not at all," then. Okay, exposition.exe activating.]

Well if you're used to traveling, that's good because there's a lot of that here! People from all kinds of different worlds wake up in that house with that poor confused woman who calls herself your mother, no one really knows how or why.

But we're all given a Pokémon partner like Amber or Midori as a partner and kind of a bodyguard? Pokémon are at the center of more or less everything here, and even if they don't look like it they can be VERY powerful. A lot of people catch and battle them, or breed them, but a lot of people just live their regular lives, only with Pokémon!

...But the bad news is, no one knows where this actually is, or how to get home. Sorry.

I don't know! The last thing I remember is punching Vriska from like, three years ago! Only it was on the meteor?

[A big SIIIIGH. John's not even the Time player. He shouldn't have to put up with this.]

Anyways, I stuck my hand into a magical glowing house, and now I can sort of jump around the timeline at random, and so Terezi gave me a list of things to do on her blood scarf before she died. And I had just finished up all of her tasks, but now I'm here!

[That definitely clears things up, right?]

[...

...............

.......................................

What?]

This must be what it's like. This is what it sounds like when I talk. Oh my god, it's like I'm looking into an infinite mirror of inscrutable toolish nonsense except with bad hair and glasses.

[But, weirdly, things are becoming a little clearer. Dave lowers his hands slightly to stare at John.]

You. Dude, you altered the alpha timeline?

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