slowpoke_gif | come on and take a test drive (test drive)!

[ !

okay. someone he knows. someone he's pretty sure has a mutual understanding about things on some level. like a piece of his head. that's a relief. a huge relief that doesn't show because sighing and smiling like an asshole would be so uncool. but he's positive this is going to be a considerably less awkward meet-up than colliding skulls after going through a fenestrated plane. it's going to be chill as a cucumber someone inexplicably chilled in a freezer for some reason. nobody is here to run bullshit percentages on this but him.

dave is just standing there though and the longer he doesn't make a response to that and just keeps standing there back, the more tension in the air. yeaaaah. chill.

he raises a hand in some sort of greeting. okay. icebreaker. cucumber icebreaker. ]

Hey.

[SHIT BRO SAW HIM DUCK AND COVER!

There is no ducking and covering. All the shitty survival instincts Dave's developed over the years take over, planting his feet, keeping his weight even, erasing any tiny hint that he is less than cool with this encounter.]

Hey? Hey.

[Smooth. He almost starts to mirror not!Bro's salute, but, right, box. What a good box, keeping a shield in between him and...yeah. Dave nods instead, shrugs a little. He's going to pee his pants. He glances down at the little Mime baby, then back up to those familiar pointy shades.]

You just get in, then? Like. To here. To Pokéworld.

[ dave looks like he wants to abscond the fuck out of here. or maybe he's just reading it wrong. it's probably because he has a box. of things. things that need to be done. or something. more important things than needing to explain what the hell is going on to an alternate universe ~~dadson~~bro. but they're cool. like that thawing cucumber, removed from the ever chill freezer, that's making a fucking puddle on the cutting board. but it's still chill. ]

Yeah. Got here just now. To Pokéworld.

[ he realizes his hand is still hanging in the air and drops it. looks to the baby out of the corner of his eye. it is just staring at dave. he looks back up to those familiar stiller shades. (r.i.p. stiller) ]

[ dot dot fucking dot ] When did you? [ get here. to pokeworld. ]

Edited (sorry my typos) 2016-03-20 21:10 (UTC)

Beginning of November. [...] It's March now.

[So, a MATHS # of months. Dave has no processing power left to work out the arithmetic, there is entirely too much going on right now for his puny organic mind to handle.

He finally breathes in a way that doesn't indicate rising panic and uses his knee to boost his box up in his arms. It was starting to slip.]

Look, there's time shit, so. Sorry if this is a weird or personal question, but you're...you recognize me, so. You're not...like, actually the young version of the guy what raised me, but the young version of said guy as flung into an entirely different alt timeline where that didn't happen. Yeah? ...You're Dirk?

Five months. [ insert joke about dirk and processing power here. bluh bluh robot jokes. ]

[ five months playing pokemon. but they've spent longer doing a lot weirder things. he watches the box start to slip and thinks he'll offer to hold it once they get this awkward out of the way. only it doesn't get out of the way and the chill is lost. the cucumber thawed and someone sliced the damn thing up and used it to make lukewarm pickles. or perhaps the better metaphor would be something about getting stabbing pain in the heart but that's a little too punny. it's not that bad. it's not like they've bonded

...that... much. knowing the guy for a minute then having it tracked backwards could a little more painful than not knowing him at all if he dives too deep into thinking about it. it's a funny thing. all of like five people exist in his life and he should be cool about this because he might be over-viewing it. plus another five months of having no dirk is probably a good thing. god.

inhales. nods once instead of giving a verbal reply. a distant little nod. confirmation. he exhales out his nose. turns his head to look elsewhere. shifts a foot. the composure isn't lost but everything became so massively uncomfortable in all of two seconds it'd show to the savvy. ] We've met. Time shit being a factor, probably.

[ nobody actually explained anything to him? ]

You got things to do? [ a vague hand gesture at the box. there's an out. ]

Edited 2016-03-20 22:14 (UTC)

[Dave looks at Dirk, then down at the box, like he's just seeing it for the first time.]

Oh. Oh, nah, it's. You know, not time-sensitive. Uh, actually.

[He holds onto the box for another second, then manages to put it down. The top's already open, and Dave crouches down behind it, starts pawing through.]

If you're cold or anything, these are. Pretty much expressly designated for y'all newcomers. [He pauses, then pushes the box of jackets towards Dirk.] I guess you can pick your color.

[Thank god for his shades. Thank John for his shades. He doesn't have to make eye contact, he can just look in generally the right direction.]

Oh. Okay. [ dirk sighs. he really thought dave was going to take that and get far far far away from this hella awkward conversation. he would want to in his shoes.

he moves closer, cocking his head to one side while he digs through the box, only to have it shoved at him a second later ] That's good because I'm freezing my ass off. None of my clothes had sleeves. Hats, yes. Obviously, I needed a new hat. Essential part of an ensemble that I'm not wearing. Sleeves? No. You don't need sleeves. They want to see those sweet Texan arms. Sleeves are for people who have seen their own breath outdoors before.

[ he shifts the box under one arm to pull the jacket on, then shifts it to the other to pull the other sleeve on. his color is black today. thank god for shades and distractions. let's pretend there are no issues. la la la.

oh wait. there's a baby issue. it's probably cold too. he probably shouldn't put a plush looking clown pokemon in dave's coat box, so he'll just pick it up and zip it in his new jacket for now. nailed it. poke-parenting is easy. ]

[The nonsensical babbling is strange and familiar all at once, and Dave blinks behind his sunglasses as Dirk rummages through for a jacket. Zipping his little friend in just makes the whole scene even more bizarre, and the corner of his mouth wavers for just a second like it doesn't know where to put itself, in a one-pixel smile or an expression of pain.

Still, he ducks his head, picks up the box again, and stands, and his voice is a little easier.]

I didn't get any sleeves, either. I mean, not until I complained about it on a public forum and the citizens misread my chill for shock or something and collectively took pity on my frozen orphan ass.

[Dave looks at Dirk again, then tilts his head down the road.]

I'm taking these to the Pokémon Center. It's like a combination free animal hospital and visitor's center. If you want to get out of the cold.

[ dave's hard to read sometimes. he can't tell if the guy wants to back away or come closer. he supposes it just echos how people must feel around him. he's pretty sure his friends wouldn't know what the hell was going on in his head half the time if he didn't have an artificial intelligence blowing up his spot occasionally. and even with that, he must be hard to approach. yeah. definitely hard to express things to. ]

The urge to wrap you up in a blanket like a toasty burrito must have been strong. People are suckers for frozen orphans. But I don't think I could pull it off as well. I'd get maybe two jackets instead of the entire box.

[ he looks down the road. this place is weird. ]

Sounds good.

[Shit, that whole first sentence blindsides him; it's like a hit-and-run perpetrated on the Daytona 500. Wrap him in a blanket like a toasty burrito? Is that an actual almost-expression of fondness and care? From Bro? Or, no, does that mean he thinks Dave's that pathetic, that he's that weak, did he fuck up admitting to that? Why--why should he care if he did, who's this Dirk kid that he needs to impress him? But he does, he does. He wants Dirk to be not Bro.

God. No, he wants Karkat. He wants Jade to come rocketing in like a meteor out of hell. With no rescue imminent, Dave just nods jerkily and leads the way towards the P.C., trying not to release the angelic chorus of 'AAAAAA' resounding in his head.

But wait. Something doesn't quite add up. He turns his head towards Dirk again, watching him sidelong.]

You said we met?

[How? Dream bubble? Alternate timeline? Shenanigans? Probably shenanigans, let's be fucking real.]

Hooooow did that go?

[Please, future-and-or-alternate Dave. Please clue him into how he should handle this, because handling's the furthest thing from his capabilities right now.]

[ he's saying something wrong again, right? yeah. yeah, he is. he fucked up admitting dave seems like a better person and people would like him enough to put blankets on him. not cool, dirk. not cool.

he follows him, behind him for a second where he drags a hand down his face before keeping in step with him. ]

Yeah.

[ shenanigans ]

It went. [ super helpful there. he wishes this pokemon would interject with some commentary on this awkward fucking conversation to get more of a ball rolling. but alas, it's not a robot programmed to do such things. all it says is its name. the fuck is that about? probably for the best. dave deserves better than having him shove emotions down and he sure as hell doesn't deserve assholes interrupting as an excuse to keep talking. just do it. ]

It was nice, actually. We talked for a while. I think it helped. [ s h r u g ]

Uh.

[After a moment of delay, Dave looks at Dirk more properly. He's skittish, still, but:]

Helped...?

[Helped with what?]

Put things in to perspective. We were both had a lot to deal with concerning our respective pasts and I don't think anyone else could have really understood it at the time.

[ there's a pixel in both corners of his mouth going frownways. maybe walking to a pokemon center while one of them is holding a box isn't a good time for this. they could probably sit when they get inside. ]

I'm fine repeating anything.

[Well, it's not like this is a very big town. The Pokémon Center's right there.]

Huh. [What does that even MEAN, Dirk? "A lot to deal with?" Dude.] I mean, no, it's cool. You don't have to get into it.

[...

...................

........

Dave pauses as the Center's door slides open in front of them.]

Okay, actually maybe you should get into it.

[ dude.

dirk stops before stepping inside, looking at dave ] Okay.

[ he looks ahead at the open doors and heads in. this sure is a pokemon center. are these what hospitals are vaguely supposed to look like? ]

You told me about your [ dirk. dad. ] bro. And I told you about [ dave. dad. idol. ] mine. And some other things came up. [ splinters. heroics. the meaning of life. also your sister was a spritecat or something?? let's never speak of that last one. ]

I want to apologize again first.

[Well then.

Dave stands still for a second, then puts his box down just inside the door, walks over to the lobby couch, sits, and puts his head in his hands, palms on his forehead, fingers pushed through his own pale hair.

He wants to text Karkat. im going to need the feelings pile of a lifetime when i get back please warm up your shooshing cords. But he doesn't, because he can't. Also, that would be rude.

Why does everything happen so much.]

I. ...Okay? What...for, dude.

[ dirk hesitates just a moment before sitting next to him on the couch. hands on his knees after he removes the pokemon from his jacket and sets it aside to do.... whatever it is babies do. walk around all wobbly like or something. he should definitely not be responsible for that thing.

waits for an answer from dave then carefully states what he feels he needs to. he's suddenly extremely aware of the fact that there are other people walking around, probably with far less things on their minds than them. (is that a fucking nurse in lolita?) ]

For fucking up your life. Maybe it's weird and it wasn't exactly me. You told me as much - or another you did. But I feel responsible and should own up to mistakes made by every version of myself because the toxic element I have been in my friends' life could be tantamount to an number of actions taken against you elsewhere in paradox space. I can't say I wouldn't have done what he did in those circumstances without the current self-awareness that I can be, essentially, an intense douche-bag.

[ dave should just flip him the finger. yeah. that'd be good. he knows he won't but how cathartic would that be? ]

[Let's everyone let that sink in for a moment.]

Wow. Wow, uh. ...Okay.

[Hhhhhh. As Dave gathers his jittery thoughts, a small lump pokes its head out from under his scarf. The little mousiekins looks around, twitching his whiskers first at Dirk and then Dave. When it seems Dave is not going to fill him in, though, he settles in and decides to make himself useful by watching Dirk's partner.]

The Dave you were talking to--I guess, maybe the real Dave, now?--he must've had a lot more time to think about this than I have. Because I'm still...mostly in the process of figuring that stuff out. How fucked up it all was, et cetera. So hearing you say that, just out of nowhere from my perspective, is a little...baffling, I guess.

[He threads his fingers together over his forehead and pushes both hands back over his hair, pulling it back from his forehead so that it falls again all willy-nilly. He stays huddled like that a moment, safe within the barrier of his arms, but then he slides them back to the nape of his neck and sighs, lifts his chin.]

And I'm not gonna lie, like, eighty percent of me is still waiting for the shitty, "ironic" twist to what you're saying, but. [He tilts his head to watch Dirk sidelong.] I got to agree with past Dave, or future Dave, or whoever he is. Like. That wasn't you, so. I mean you can apologize for the character trait, maybe, but. Still wasn't you.

Edited 2016-03-21 20:32 (UTC)

[ looking right at dave is a little hard so his eyes follow the hamster that literally came out of dave's scarf. a perfectly logical place to store living things if he ever did see one. he thinks roxy put a cat in her scarf once. it runs in the ectogenes? ]

The real Dave? [ they're going to have to get existential following that line of conversation ]

[ dirk's partner, located by his feet currently, seems perfectly pleased with filling the mouse in on what seems to be going on here. the fact that dirk is hearing "mime mime" over and over in that high-pitched voice is really fucking with the emotional seriousness of this. maybe that's the ironic twist? the levels of irony are so off the charts that it's even more emotional. ]

Right. I get that. It doesn't work as an apology in that context because I can't speak for that guy. He might have been unapologetic. The idea in my head head that I can be less of a horrible person than that extreme going forward as future adult seems significantly more plausible saying that. So I did.

[ just end this feelingsjam. dave wasn't ready for it. ]

You...

[This has to be a fucked up way to be doing this. To hear it from Dave's alternate bro, who only heard about what the Bro he lived with was like through an alternate Dave, who must have figured it out some way Dave can't even imagine right now.

But somehow, that strikes him as oddly fitting. The PokéConversation going on around them doesn't even register, Dave's been here so long.

He lets one arm--the one between him and Dirk--fall; keeps the other on the back of his neck to ground himself.]

You really think he was bad?

[ this is fucked up. the experiences could have been different for all he knows with time shenanigans haven taken place at some point without dirk being completely present for them. his curls his fingers into his palms, arms at his sides. he looks back to dave. ]

Everything I think was formed from the opinions that version of you had given me at the time and I don't have real experience of growing up with a present adult to compare it to, just what Jane and Jake have told me about her dad and his grandmother.

[ "under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing"

the entire time dirk has been thinking how he shouldn't be responsible for a baby, regardless of its status as a tiny plush-looking clown pokemon. yeah. ]

I don't think he was a good guardian. I can't say if he was a good person or not. [ that's probably up to dave. he doesn't feel like has the right to make a call on that one. he's not sure what to think. ]

Edited 2016-03-21 22:54 (UTC)

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