Forced Honesty Meme

[memesock]

Forced Honesty Meme


1) Post with your character, including name and series in the header.
2) Reply to other people asking questions ICly.
3) That character is forced to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
4) Insert 'the truth will set you free' joke here.

Comments

[leftinbasketforfbi]

[Shit.]

I don't, actually. I've had an MRI and an fMRI, and I've had four different opinions on the scans, and all the doctors say that there's nothing physically wrong with me.

They think it's psychosomatic.

[Even when he's compelled to answer her, 'psychosomatic' comes out strangely. Like the word itself is trying to choke him when he says it.]

[doitrockapella]

But you don't think so.

[It's a statement, not a question. Rest assured.]

I'm not one to put faith in superstition, but that's because too often people let that faith inhibit them, and I refuse to be a prisoner of fear. Belief in something spiritual that benefits you rather than hindering you...that, I can understand.

But you're still afraid, aren't you?

[leftinbasketforfbi]

Well, sort of. I don't want to think so. It's... at a certain point, I have to be able to admit that my refusal to accept it is because I'm afraid, not because there's an actual logical reason.

Because I am afraid. Terrified, actually. [Fucking adflgknaoer goddamn memes fgdgadfaa why can't he stop talking] They've only gotten worse, and nothing--not diet, exercise, or medication--helps. Nothing except a beaded bracelet I can't even admit to depending on out loud. [Can you tell he hates talking about this?]

[doitrockapella]

[NAH, IT ONLY SHOWS JUST A LITTLE. Memes, man.]

Why can't you admit to depending on it? What do you lose by acknowledging it helps?

[leftinbasketforfbi]

I lose the ability to deny that I'm having nociceptive hallucinations.

I lose the ability to pretend I'm going to be okay.

[doitrockapella]

[Oh. Eureka. Now the pieces are snapping into place.]

Because you need to have an explanation that isn't hallucinations, because the hallucinations themselves will be indicative of something else. And that's what you're really afraid of. It's not about needing a physical method of therapy over a spiritual one. It's that you need what's being treated to be something other than what you're afraid it is.

[She's not going to ask the next logical question that follows from that. She's curious, not cruel, and he's resisting this something fierce already. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have her guesses.]

[leftinbasketforfbi]

[He could kiss her for not asking the next question.

Nonetheless, he is forced to give a simple] You're right.

I really, really don't want it to be what I think it is. [He doesn't want to be like his mother.]

[doitrockapella]

[He could kiss her anyway.

And that sounds like as good a place as any to attempt to divert the subject.]

A philosopher once said, "fear is a good servant but a bad master". There are some things you can't control. Fear is something you can.

[leftinbasketforfbi]

[ha Reid initiating a kiss that's funny

Thank you, Carmen. He will sneak you all the cherries for changing topics.] I can control fear. I mean, I'm used to being scared of things. Working in the BAU, you deal with fear a lot. I know how to function with it.

[doitrockapella]

[Miracles do happen on occasion.

Om nom delicious fruity bribes.]

Dealing with fear and functioning with fear aren't necessarily the same thing as mastering it. And besides, the fear of something you face in the circumstances around you is a little different than facing something about yourself.

[leftinbasketforfbi]

Well, yes, I agree. But personally, I'm happy just being able to function with fear. I don't think I could master it entirely. [Because that's his idea of mastering it--knowing it so well that you don't seem to even feel it anymore, like Hotch or Emily or Morgan. Then again, while he'd never realize it himself, he's developed an impressive ability to grit his teeth and trudge through fear over the last few years. There was once a time when overwhelming fear could make him cry; now he just hits it in the face with a pipe.]

[doitrockapella]

[SIGH.]

That's more progress than one of my henchwomen, at least. She hasn't even made it as far as functioning yet.