slowpoke_gif | as ATP is this weekend!

Your little friend just wanted to say hi, near as I can tell.

[He gives a wink, and that smile is a bit forced, but useful posturing is useful enough.

This entire thing suddenly got really uncomfortable, though. At this point, was dancing around the facade act going to do him any good? His expression quickly grows completely serious.]

What are you doing here, really?

He wants to say 'hello' to everything.

[He senses something Isn't Right, though, and hesitantly rolls in Lust's direction.

She realizes she's honestly assumed she'd never be in this position. Or if it did happen, she wouldn't be alone. Greed might have made his promise of protection in a drunken moment, but that hardly made it any less serious. And weakened as she is in human form, she's no match for a trained soldier. But he hasn't made any move against her.]

At the moment? Looking for my Spheal. In a broader sense, sightseeing. If you want any more of an explanation than that, I'm afraid I don't have one for you. What are you doing here?

[...He? That critter was a boy? Well, that was unexpected. Though it's more of a mental footnote right now than anything else.

Tension still hanging in the air, and the given answer wasn't really enough to satisfy Maes...but..]

Going for a walk, of course.

[Another forced smile as he answers with that.

Yup. Definitely an awkward conversation.

...At least she wasn't going for his throat with those nails this time.]

There you are, then. I'm sightseeing, you're taking a walk, our paths crossed at random. Anything else on why either of us are here or what we ought to be doing, you'll have to ask God, because I don't know any better than you. Of course if you actually happen to have his contact information, perhaps you could pass it over? I've a few questions I could use answers to myself.

[She doesn't feel immediately threatened, but Lust doesn't feel at ease with this careful conversation. And she's so sick of all this cloak and dagger cleverness. She considers tossing out Alphonse's name, they're friendly and everybody - excluding Envy, of course - likes Alphonse. She can also remind the solider that they aren't alone in these woods.

But sometimes the simplest and most honest answer comes in handy.]

I'm not looking for trouble. I'm just taking a pleasure trip with a friend before we settle down in a proper house.

[Sometimes emphasizing her perfectly normal wants and plans puts people at ease, when knowledge of what she actually is has entered into the discussion. Perhaps it will do the same with someone much more familiar with what a homunculus was.]

[There's this funny temptation to ask if that 'friend' happens to be Bradley's secretary, the one who'd led him into that one ambush where they first met.

She did say that she didn't want to start any trouble, though, and he'd have to take her word on that. Even if he did keep his guard up.]

So you're not going to reintroduce me to your nails?

[For all that that may have been phrased with all of the carefree aloofness of the act in full, it was a genuine question. He really wouldn't want to have to go through that fight again - it was brutal enough the first time.]

[Lust holds up her bare hands, palms in. Her nails are visible, and currently painted dark red, appearing no different than any other woman's nails - other than being particularly well cared for.]

This is as much reintroduction as there is. I hate to disappoint you, but I'm currently perfectly human. And just trying to enjoy my vacation. I'm as much a threat to you as Guttle is.

[She waves her hand at the Spheal, currently rolled onto his back.]

[Well, that was unexpected. But, considering as she apparently wasn't out to kill him this time? Always a bonus!]

So are you and "Juliet Douglas" on vacation, then?

[Hey it was a logical conclusion, alright? Considering she was the one who'd led him into the ambush where he first met Lust! The thought of them being friends, or even acquaintances was perfectly logical when you think about it like that.]

[She glares flatly for a moment before bursting into unkind laughter at the idea.]

That harridan? I'd sooner swallow hot coals than take a holiday with her. The twittering madwoman. She isn't even here.

[Thank god. That was one face she'd gladly never see again.]

No, I'm traveling with a man. Greed. You wouldn't know him, he wasn't...involved.

[And there's a nod at that.

So they were working together but didn't get along? I guess that'd mean that it was similar to how he didn't get along with Gran, even though they were both in the military..

Which means...

..Maybe it's worth a shot?]

So, if all of that was just job politics, maybe we should actually introduce ourselves?

[Sure, he knows who Lust is from Ed's account of things inside that laboratory, but.]

I'm Maes. Maes Hughes.

Pleased to meet you.

[Thank god he seems reasonable. Lust lowers her hands and her posture relaxes some.]

Job politics. [She makes a small noise of amusement.] Something like that. It was certainly nothing personal. Just following ill-given orders, you're a soldier, you can understand.

I'm Lust.

[He certainly did understand. Even though he was primarily Intelligence, he was Roy's best friend, and he'd SEEN the fallout of some of the unfortunate orders the Flame Alchemist had to act out.

This was probably yet another one of those cases. It still meant that things were a little awkward, but hey, at least his usual friendly act might help to bridge the gap here.]

Lust! Nice to meet you.

It's kind of a tragic name though, don't you think? A young lady like yourself deserves a nicer name than that. Ever think about changing it?

There's a moment of blinking thoughtfully, though, remembering something in Ed's account of the incident.]

...Wait, if you're perfectly human now, does that mean that you got your wish?

Do you always pelt practical strangers with personal questions when you first meet?

[Defensive, mostly due to her own frustration at having to answer questions like that more often than she'd like. Which may be clear, as she launches into a rote of her usual responses with a weary sigh.]

My name is Lust, it's the name I've always had, I knew it as my name before I knew it meant anything else so I happen to like it and find it perfectly 'nice'. This place makes anyone human, all that's changed is my biology, my personal hopes and dreams are none of your business. And to round it all off to get it all out of the way, I've been human months and I'm perfectly adjusted to it.

[Physically speaking, anyway. And everyone asked that, too, so she may as well answer it now.]

[Wow, that was cold but totally understandable given how little good interaction the two of them have had up until this point.

COMPLETELY UNFAZED by her defensiveness, Maes continues to be a complete fluffball.]

You're right, I should probably tell you more about myself to level the playing field!

[And with that, there is rooting in his pockets until he digs out a wallet-sized booklet, that he readily opens to reveal is a pocket-album with an accordion-folding plastic pocket sheet, full of pictures of his family and his baby girl.]

This is my baby girl Elicia, isn't she adorable? This was taken the night she was born! She actually shared Ed's birthday, can you believe it? She's the most precious little thing and she totally takes after her mother so very much already!

And this here is our first family photo! That's Gracia, my wife, and Elicia's about six months old here in this one. ISN'T SHE PRECIOUS?

AND THIS ONE! THIS WAS WHEN SHE FIRST STARTED TO LEARN HOW TO RIDE HER TRICYCLE!

[Yup. Loving husband and father mode is go. Have fun, Lust.]

[Oh dear god.]

That's really alright, I....

[Too late. Yes, it was an infant human. Why Lust would want to see pictures of his child, she has no idea. Alright, fine. Maybe this was some common greeting ritual among his people, what the hell does she know. She reaches into her pocket and roots around until she finds a photograph. It shows a Jigglypuff on a strip of seashore, staring intently off camera.]

This is my Jigglypuff Chanteuse at the beach. She's staring at a man who's frightened of everything. I don't have any other pictures with me.

Are you in need of some sort of assistance?

[He blinks, a little surprised at the sharing of photos from someone else - that's not something that happens very often at all!]

Awww! She's cute! She looks so soft and--

[At that question, Hughes looks genuinely dumbfounded and slightly worried.]

..You mean you're not used to casual conversation?

Yes, yes, don't tell her that, she has enough of an ego complex as is.

[Lust just shrugs.]

You are wandering around the woods alone, and you seem to be under the impression you and I are old friends. It's not unreasonable to assume you're suffering some manner of head trauma or exposure delirium. I have a campsite if you require food or water.

But, if neither of us has that whole politics thing getting in the way, and none of what had happened before was personal..

..There's no reason we can't be friends now, right?

[He smiles, casually pointing upward with his finger as though he'd just thought of something.

He casually shrugs.]

I know that there's not a whole lot I could offer you just yet ~~(unless you're interested in more stories about Elicia and seeing more pictures of her!)~~ but you seem to know this place better than I do.

...Maybe we could help each other out?

[Hey, if the excessively friendly road's not going anywhere, the practical appeal might work?]

What is it about men and exuberant friendship? You're just like Kirikou and Alphonse.

[Just thrusting their friendship on her, regardless of her attempts to dissuade it. Kirikou only knew her here of course, and Alphonse was Alphonse. She can't understand why Maes Hughes is being so kind to her. She's used to grudges being held.]

I'm not a very good friend. But I probably know more about this world than you. I've already offered you food and water, do you want it or not?

[Lust's way of doing things would take some getting used to, but Maes is just fine with this!]

Really, outside of the job I'm pretty easy-going.

[Though that obfuscating stupidity act on the job is pretty easy-going too..]

And if there's no reason to fight here, why should we?

[He gives a shrug.

It's Lust's to-the-point comment about food and water that does cause him to perk up though.]

Yes! Please! That is, if you don't mind?

Mmmm. I have no real liking for violence or aggression.

[Anyone that easy going is likely to have an agenda, but Lust supposes it's not much different than Greed. He'd likely be anyone's friend as well.

Ugh, what's Greed going to think? She's not bringing back a stray Pokemon, she's bringing back a high ranking military intelligence officer who knows far too much about them.

She hopes her assessment of his likelhood of befriending everyone is right. And also that he's off hunting Pokemon right now.]

Yes, it's fine. It wouldn't be decent to just leave you here.

Wow, really?

For what it's worth, though, you do fight really well. I'm pretty sure I would've been toast if Envy didn't intervene.

[But that's definitely a topic change thing. And so, changing the topic is the most appropriate course of action here!]

...I really am thankful, though. It's really nice of you to offer.

..Is your camp far from here? Should I grab some wood or something on the way?

[Sure, he wouldn't be able to do much without an axe, but even branches and boughs can still be used as kindling..]

Due to my nature. Homunculi have exceptional strength, speed, and reflex. I can hardly do all of that now. I fought because I thought I had to, nothing more.

[She doesn't say anything Envy. There's only so much that can be forgiven in a short period of time.]

It's nothing. It's not far, we don't need wood. We're used to camping, we've been doing it for a month. There's plenty of Pokemon, your pikachu won't be wanting for company.

[He gives a nod, even though he does think that she's selling herself short.

The electric mouse makes a happy "Pika pika!" at the thought of having more pokemon to interact with.]

A month, huh? Sounds like you've managed to get pretty settled in, then.

[He gives one of his sweeping gestures at the forest surrounding them as he speaks.]

I wouldn't even know what's safe to eat around here.

[And that's followed with a shrug. Hey, it might be the incompetent moron act turned down a few notches, but at least he's not in mission-mode!]

Not the berries!

[Lust emphasizes this with a cut of her arm in front of her in a negative gesture. She turns and begins leading the way to camp.]

I've been here a few months. Apparently it isn't entirely uncommon for people from our world to die and end up here. But there seem to be hundreds of people from all different worlds who've just ended up here somehow. It may sound like madness, but it's all truth.

[Not the berries! Check!

Even though that emphatic statement totally sounds like Lust's personal experience talking, he's not going to ask.

..Even though he wants to.

He nods and quietly follows Lust's lead, listening to her explanation.]

Eh? So I'm not the only one who wound up finding this place instead of some kind of afterlife?

as ATP is this weekend!

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I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. XD

Dying omg

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He's trying! He really is! Sob.

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