(no subject)

[pianokeys]

the FML! meme

Step 1 ∙ Your characters are suddenly compelled to share with the world why their life sucks
so much. Have them write about it in the comments!

Step 2 ∙ Respond to other character's confessions

step 3 ∙ ic drama??? angst???

Simple as that!

 

nabbed from adddictions 

Comments

[doitrockapella]

Henchmen.

I'll never understand why they all seem to think they deserve end-of-the-year bonuses when half the time their plans don't even work, and another quarter of the time I'm the one who has to come in personally and save them from botching it past repair.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Bonuses! Hah! Mine are lucky I bother to pay their benefits with the lackluster performances they provide!

[Shockingly, Cobras get medical, dental, retirement, and vacation.]

And the only thing worse than having to fix their missstakes is having them question authority! I don’t have to explain why I want something done, whether it be stealing a high powered laser or exposing them to highly corrosive chemicals in order to test equipment! There is a reason for everything I do, but I don’t have to explain it to every sssingle Viper in my organization with second thoughts about following orders!

[doitrockapella]

It's even worse still when they can't even follow the orders you give them. At least not until you've explained it six or seven times in excruciating detail and very small words. Occasionally with well-labeled color-coded charts.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Or a handout explaining step by step exactly what is expected of them! And then they sssstill mess up!

[doitrockapella]

And they fight amongst themselves and botch the heist because they're too busy trying to one-up one another than to cooperate and get the job done...

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Oh my god. Carmen, that is his life.]

Don't even get me sssstarted on that! In fighting between minions is the reason why I don't have Excalibur right now!

[Because Destro and Storm Shadow had to fight over it. And then an eagle stole it and dumped it back into a lake, thus saving all of England.]

[doitrockapella]

Excalibur? The sword Excalibur?

[BEGINNING TO BE KIND OF JEALOUS.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss! The sword Excalibur!

[doitrockapella]

Did you have aspirations to become the next king of England?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Not just England, but Germany, France...

[And this goes on for a while before Cobra runs out of countries.]

Not to worry though, I have a backup plan for conquering England! And it's a brilliant one!

[doitrockapella]

[Jeez, Cobra, are we going to have to learn the nations of the world now? COME ON NOW.]

I'd be delighted to hear it.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Ssssimple! I'm going to kidnap the Queen! And then ransom her in exchange for the crown!

[Never mind the fact that England is a constitutional monarchy and has been for a long time.]

[doitrockapella]

...You do realize that the Queen's powers as Head of State are almost entirely ceremonial as opposed to political, don't you?

[KNOWING COBRA, PROBABLY NOT. Sob.]

It's a nice crown, though. A little small, but exquisitely made. Though I don't think it'll fit over your helmet, alas.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course! But the people of England love their royals, so I'll be able to sway popular opinion towards Cobra controlling the country! And the crown isn't a problem! After all, I have more than one mask! I'm sure it will fit one of them!

[doitrockapella]

Or you might persuade them to unite and rise up against you.

British subjects are a bit notorious for banding together to rebel against tyranny, you know.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That will be hard to do once Cobra laws have removed any right to organize or protest against my rule.

[His reign only lasts five minutes anyway...probably in real time. Hard to be king when even his own minions couldn't stand him at that point. Major Bludd and the Baroness were practically first in line to overthrow King Cobra Commander the First.]